


i don't want an answer (i already have everything i need)

by unssxid



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Existential Crisis, Fluff, Gen, Light Angst, Mentions of Bisexual Wheein, wheesa being wholesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:47:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24279085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unssxid/pseuds/unssxid
Summary: There are some days when Wheein can't control her own thoughts.
Kudos: 15





	i don't want an answer (i already have everything i need)

After so many years spent with Ahn Hyejin, it had become impossible for Wheein to imagine her future without her.

They had known each other since before they knew what a _period_ was. They had stuck together in their highs and their lows, but still… Wheein couldn’t help but wonder sometimes.

They were stupid questions, for sure. But they kept her awake at night, turning in bed over and over again.

She wondered what her life would look like if they had never met.

Would she have passed all of those high school exams she had failed so many years ago if she hadn’t spent so many evenings watching movies and walking around the city with her? Would she had earned a better score in her _suneung_ exam if Hyejin hadn’t dragged her out of her house with the excuse of helping her relax so many times?

She wondered if she would’ve had the courage to travel to another city for the minuscule possibility of being accepted as a trainee in a small company without her best friend almost forcing her to.

And if she would’ve had, would she had still been accepted? Would have they thought she was good enough if she hadn’t mustered courage from a lame peep-talk from Hyejin to keep her voice from breaking and faltering?

She knew she wouldn’t.

And that’s when she wondered, would have her met the two other most important persons for her?

What were the possibilities that life would have allowed her to come across Kim Yongsun and Moon Byulyi if she hadn’t met them when the group was formed? Would she have had completely different friends?

Wheein had been completely alone before Hyejin. Too shy to talk to anybody, too scared of people looking her way.

What would have happened if she had gotten sick that first day of middle school? Or if she would have succumbed to her desire of hiding in the girls’ bathroom during lunch?

Would have Hyejin looked for her to introduce herself nevertheless? Or would have she gone in the search for somebody else to be her friend?

She could actually tell who that other person would’ve been. That round-faced girl they had tried to include in their group a few times because Hyejin liked the pins she had in her backpack.

Would that girl be in her place right now?

Wheein tried to ignore all of those questions, but it resulted extremely hard to do when she could picture that life so clearly.

She would have gone to an art college. She knew that.

She would have really tried to talk to other people, be open and friendly, but her classmates would have found her jokes too weird and her laugh too scandalous. She would have spent every afternoon drawing and painting, watching movies and maybe making friends through the internet, where people couldn’t see her awkward gestures or judge her for her appearance.

She would have ended up alone, just like she was before.

She wouldn’t have Yongsun playing along with her childish antics, or Byulyi boosting her confidence by taking pictures of her and calling her _pretty._

She wouldn’t have all of those amazing people she had met through the years and was proud to call _friends_. Or those crowds who chanted her name and wrote her the most beautiful letters she had ever received, those strangers who didn’t knew her but still managed to make her heart feel warm and full.

Would she even be the same person at all? Would she be confident, and bright, and happy as she was now?

Would she be as brave?

Brave enough to pour her heart and soul into lyrics and then sing them in front of people. Brave enough to confess to her crushes and be grateful that she did when they answered with an “I feel the same”. Brave enough to hold her mother’s hand as she told her that she liked girls too?

Wheein didn’t think so.

Not without Hyejin squeezing her hand before walking up the stage, when the lights were still off. Not without her calling Wheein a coward before she sent the message, and squealing with her when she received the response. And definitely not when she knew she wouldn’t even had accepted herself without her best friend holding her tear-stained face and telling her she would love and support her during the rest of their lives, no matter what.

She would have kept her journals locked away as safely as the warm, heart-fluttering feeling she got every time a particularly beautiful woman smiled at her. She would have dated a boring guy, who wouldn’t mind too much about his girlfriend disappearing in her studio for two days straight and coming out with clothes ruined by paint.

She would have married him. Something small, for their family and the handful of acquaintances she would have managed to find by then. She would have had a single kid, to please her mom’s desires to be a grandmother.

She wondered if she would have been happy.

And when she couldn’t stop wondering, when she felt as if her mind was spiraling out of control into a dark place with no exit, she was glad to know it only took one press of a button to have Hyejin barging into her house like it belonged to her fifteen minutes later.

Both dressed in thick oversized clothes, Wheein would snuggle against Hyejin, nuzzling into her neck to take a deep breath of the other girl’s perfume while she hugged her waist.

“Wheein-ah,” she calls her, but Wheein only hums against her chest to let her know she was listening, “I think that we’re soulmates.”

Wheein does look up to her this time, frowning in confusion.

Hyejin doesn’t bother to look back, too focused in the movie playing on the TV.

“While filming today, I thought that even if I was the president, or a mother, or whatever, I couldn’t imagine living without you. I think that we would be like this in every universe, don’t you?” She says nonchalantly.

Wheein swallows past the knot in her chest, returning to her position to avoid being caught teary-eyed at something so dumb.

“Yeah, I think so too.”

Hyejin hums, content, and pulls the covers tighter around themselves as she slides a little more into the bed.

Wheein can’t really stop herself from wondering, but, as she falls asleep into Hyejin’s arms, she thanks every force and being in the universe for leaving her questions unanswered.

**Author's Note:**

> honestly, this is not one of my favorite works but i just couldn't get it out of my head, i HAD to write it.  
> i'm so soft for wheesa it's ridiculous, i love them so much. their relationship is the most beautiful thing in the world :'(  
> btw, i struggled SO MUCH with all the tenses and verbs so please let me know if you find any mistake.  
> hope you liked it, though!


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